Skin at Heart is happy to share the interview with Kjersti Hattrem from Self Love Daily with KH.
I met Kjersti in Oslo and our story, just like life, is full of ups and downs. We were flatmates for a while and becoming friends with Kjersti made me go deeper within myself, it helped me expand as a human being and it showed me how everything in life is constantly evolving and changing: people, events, situations and ourselves. This is one of the most meaningful friendships I have and I am grateful that we are in each other’s life.
After living in several different countries and continents, Kjersti Hattrem went back to Norway and now she dedicates herself sharing the incredible benefits of self love and how mindset shift impacts our lives. Kjersti has studied mental health coaching, experiencing herself different tools and techniques that we can use to reprogram our brains, and now she assists people in releasing old paradigms to create the life they wish to live. And it all starts with self-love!
If we want to experience something in our world, we must first experience it within ourselves. With the free guide on self love created by Kjersti you receive the main tips to get you started on your self love journey (and how that decision may impact your life).
I took the mini course on self love and I highly recommend it! Kjersti shares her story and it’s impressive how we can always relate and get our own lessons when we hear someone else’s story. With a tender and confident presence she guides us through all the steps of self love and how to put them to practice.
Let’s dive into the interview and hear in Kjersti’s own words how the mindset shift occurs.
1 – What has propelled you to a mindset shift?
For as long as I can remember I´ve had an innate knowing I was meant for more, and that there is a reason for everything. However, it took me a while to really dig deeper into this. Like many others, up until a few years ago, I was living my life very much on autopilot although this was completely unbeknownst to me. I never took the time to really question why things are the way they are, what causes certain behaviors and feelings within me, and if what I believe about the world is actually true.
For most of my life I was unhappy with many aspects of my life and I was constantly seeking external validation! So, my life felt like a constant roller coaster of up and downs depending on what was happening in my external world. Little did I know that it was my internal world that was actually driving all this, all my unconscious beliefs! I had, for example, normalised that life was a constant struggle and that some people were just simply lucky. Never did I think to look underneath the surface, into my internal world, the subconscious mind to see what was actually driving my life!
After a series of unfortunate events in my life and dealing with a lot of setbacks, I had my “enough is enough” moment, and what really sparked my mindset shift was a trip to a yoga retreat in Costa Rica in the beginning of 2018. This trip woke up me to the fact that I am the creator of my life and propelled me to take action and make necessary life changes. Changes such as sitting with my thoughts and feelings, digging into the root of my beliefs and questioning absolutely everything that I previously believed to be true! Not a small task but super important in my opinion. Many of the beliefs I was holding onto were not serving me and were actually causing me a lot of suffering. Once I gained this awareness, I could start choosing more empowering beliefs and start bettering myself, one step at a time. It hasn’t always been an easy process but surely the most worthwhile one I have ever undertaken! It´s very freeing to know that we are not our thoughts and anything we are unhappy with can absolutely be changed!
2 – What are the hidden aspects behind our mindset and how to work with
them to serve us?
The most fascinating aspect of our mindset, in my opinion, is our subconscious mind. When I learned that about 95% of our life is run by our subconscious mind (and only 5% by our conscious mind), I almost couldn’t believe it. Learning about the power of our subconscious mind was both a tough pill to swallow and fascinating at the same time! Tough pill because I knew that it required some deep inner work to release what was no longer serving me, and fascinating because it means we can live life on our own terms! The thing is, most people do not learn this growing up, which I feel is very unfortunate.
Everything we believe subconsciously plays out in our external life because our external life is a direct reflection of our internal beliefs. To decipher what our subconscious beliefs are we need to take a look at what is playing out in our life. Are there any patterns? Do the same things keep happening? We need to start questioning our beliefs. All our beliefs are programmed into us. Up until the age of approximately 7 everything we hear, observe and learn seeps right into our subconscious mind because we do not yet have the ability to distinguish between right or wrong. We haven´t developed our analytical mind. We take everything we are given as 100% truth and we are like a video camera recording everything happening around us. These beliefs are thoughts we have chosen to be true about ourselves. Our subconscious mind is always looking for evidence to show us that our (limiting) beliefs are true. We are attracting these events into our lives, and every time this happens it becomes a stronger and stronger belief because it is proving it to ourselves. A limiting belief is anything that prohibits us from doing something; sayings such as “I can´t”, “I never” or “they always”. Limiting beliefs are not real, they are here to keep us safe, but we do not thrive when we stay in our comfort zone.
So essentially, we pick up all our limiting beliefs from our environment (caretakers, teachers, society etc.), and these play out for the rest of our lives, unless or until we reprogram ourselves. One way to reprogram the subconscious mind is by hypnosis, which I am a huge fan of. Although I am still a work in progress, I can proudly say that I have released many subconscious beliefs that no longer serve me, and I now view life much more optimistically.
3 – How can we be more aware of our relationship with money and impact it in
a positive way?
Everyone has a money story/a money “blueprint” (stored in our subconscious mind) which reflects, filters and determines what we believe is possible for us. Our money story is highly affected by the ones of our parents; whatever we grew up hearing and observing about money will greatly determine our own relationship with money. Whatever “blueprint” we have about money (learned in childhood, by society and mentors) will play out in our lives until we interrupt and change the programming, just like everything else that is stored in our subconscious mind. Unfortunately, most people are not aware of this and they keep the same old patterns throughout their whole life. Many people also do not feel worthy of receiving money, especially larger sums, and this can because we often times relate money to our own worthiness.
Money is just a tool that makes life easier. I think people have a false notion that money will solve all their problems, but I gather that whatever is unresolved inside of you will still be there even if you find yourself in a new financial situation. All fulfillment comes from within. What I have learned from my incredible mentors is to start seeing money as a relationship. How do we treat money? If you treated your partner the same way as you are currently treating money, would they stay in your life? Most people are happy when they receive money but unhappy when money goes out when they have to pay bills etc. The real secret is to keep the flow going and not attach feelings to money. It´s important to celebrate when money comes in (no matter the sum) and also when it goes out knowing it’s a cycle. This is something I’ve worked on a for a while, and it is very freeing to be detached emotionally to money. I have many books to recommend for those who want to know more about this topic.
4 – What’s the role of clarity of vision when it comes to designing our life?
Clarity of vision plays a huge role in designing our life because most people are not clear on what they want. However, most of the time people are more clear on what they don´t want. This is actually a good starting point because we can start making a list from here. The next step is to examine what we believe is possible. As mentioned earlier, all our beliefs are stored subconsciously.
To gain clarity of vision it´s essential to get crystal clear on what we really want without any guilt or shame. Then we need to analyse what our beliefs are about this. What beliefs are we holding onto that are preventing us from experiencing that which we want? This is where we need to reprogram our mind to release the resistance.
Furthermore, most of us focus on what we don´t want and where attention goes energy flows hence, we attract into our lives these unwanted things/experiences. It´s no wonder we don´t believe we can have what we desire. However, I have learned and truly believe everything is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
5 – How can we step into being, instead of being focused in doing?
Most of us have been taught that we need to do certain things to get the results we want. This is true, to a certain extent. We often don´t look into what our beliefs are about the action we are doing. If these beliefs are not aligned with the results we want, our doing will not get us very far. Our doing can only be as good as our “BE-ing”. To decipher this, we need to revisit the subconscious mind, where all our beliefs are stored.
Most of us have been doing all our lives and don´t have too much to show for it. This proves to me that doing will only get you so far. Doing is only 5% of our conscious mind. Being is 95% of our subconscious where ALL of our habits, beliefs, values are stored. As mentioned, our subconscious mind is most susceptible up until the age of around 7, so whatever we have seen/heard/learned until this age shapes a MAJORITY of our adult lives. We only have 24 hours in a day which means that doing can only get us so far and will often lead to burnout in today´s high paced society. Therefore, a majority of the work is reprogramming our subconscious minds towards the beliefs, values and habits that actually serve us.
I believe change starts with self-awareness and knowing ourselves. Anyone interested in learning more about themselves and self-love can download my free getting started guide!
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